How To Be Happy
A deep dive into the science of happiness
One of the things I love most about the human race is that we are perpetual learners. Curiosity drives us. We are inspired to explore, delve deep, understand. That applies not just to the natural world or the way things work. It also applies to how we think and feel. So it really comes as no surprise that, over the past decade, researchers have devoted considerable time and effort to discerning the science of happiness.
I admit to being a little amused by the classification of happiness as a science. On some level, it strikes me as a bit of a clever ruse to convince 21st century skeptics that a typically amorphous, touchy-feely kind of topic can be approached with rigour. On the other hand, both history and experience show that happiness does, in fact, contain certain definable ingredients. Mix them together on a consistent enough basis and, chances are, you’ll end up with a positive outcome.
How to be happy
I recently had the opportunity to read a wide variety of books and articles on the topic of happiness. I can’t claim they were all in agreement about the steps to take to be happy, but there was a fair amount of consensus. According to psychological research, a range of popular pundits, and the Dalai Lama, happiness is actually always accessible to us, even if it seems elusive. All we need to do is cultivate certain states of mind.
Kindness and generosity frequently top the list. Anyone who has ever engaged in random acts of kindness already knows this. There’s just something empowering and joyful about giving to others. Watching them light up sparks a light inside us, kick-starting our own joy. It also sends a powerful message to our subconscious. When we give — our time, our money, or even just a compliment — we acknowledge that we are coming from a place of abundance. As our cup runs over, we share the overflow — an act that in itself creates a virtuous cycle.
Gratitude is another critical ingredient. By just slowing down to appreciate all we have, to enjoy this very moment, to give thanks for simply being alive, we trigger a cascade of positive emotion. Saying thank you — to the world, ourselves, each other — makes us aware of the many ways in which we’re already blessed, sparking our happiness hormones.
And, yes, hormonal shifts most certainly affect our happiness, which is why it also makes sense to coax our bodies into releasing more endorphins — our brain’s “feel good” chemicals. We can make that happen through physical activity (exercise and sex are both great options), laughter, listening to upbeat music, surrounding ourselves with certain scents (like vanilla and lavender), or eating certain foods (ginseng, chocolate, and spicy foods are often recommended).
It’s also important to avoid the hunkering trap — you know, where you hunker down and hide from the world because you just don’t have it in you to get out there. Overcoming the lethargy of unhappiness isn’t always easy, but if you can force yourself to just get out and take a walk around the corner, it’s amazing how healing it can be. Better yet, invite the world in. Call together your family or your closest friends to sit with you — or to drag you out — and have them to share their joy or contentment. Believe it or not, happiness can rub off, so if we surround ourselves with happy people, our own happiness often increases as well.
It’s more than pleasure
In reading The Art of Happiness, by the Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler, I really liked the distinction it made between happiness and pleasure. Sometimes, when we’re trying to lift our spirits, we go off in pursuit of pleasure. Perhaps we drink, or do drugs, or eat sugary foods, or engage in a dozen other acts designed to shift the way we feel.
Pleasure, however, does not equate to happiness. Pleasure is a short-lived sensation often culled from external sources. Happiness, on the other hand, arises when we gain the facility to cultivate a deep-seated contentment that stems from managing our internal state. It may not give us the rush of pleasure, but it provides us with a stable platform for long-term personal growth.
I’m not suggesting that we eschew pleasurable activities. We just need to take care not to confuse pleasure with happiness — particularly if a short-term pleasure may cause us unhappiness in the long term. By identifying the outcome we seek in advance, we can make wiser, more conscious choices — something that promises to bring us true happiness.
